Unhealthy or abusive relationships take many forms, and there is not one specific behavior that causes a relationship to be categorized as such. However, there are certain behaviors that should be cause for concern. Behaviors that should raise a red flag include:

• Excessive jealousy or insecurity;
• Invasions of your privacy;
• Unexpected bouts of anger or rage;
• Unusual moodiness;
• Pressuring a partner into unwanted sexual activity;
• Blaming you for problems in the relationship and not taking any responsibility for the same;
• Controlling tendencies;
• Explosive temper;
• Preventing you from going out with or talking to other people;
• Constantly monitoring your whereabouts and checking in to see what you are doing and who you are with;
• Falsely accusing you of things;
• Vandalizing or ruining your personal property;
• Taunting or bullying; or
• Threatening or causing physical violence.

If your partner frequently engages in these behaviors it may be wise to speak with someone with whom you feel comfortable. Adults who have experience with relationships may be able to provide advice that can help you to determine if you are in any danger.

If your partner exhibits any of the behaviors outlined above, or if your partner has physically harmed you in any way, there are many things you can do. Trust your gut – if you think you are in danger or in an unhealthy relationship, you should end it. If you are afraid of confronting your partner, or fearful of what they may say or do, there are numerous resources you can contact for help, guidance, or counseling. If you think you are in an abusive relationship, you should consider:

• Reaching out to a trusted friend, teacher, parent, or mentor;
• Spending more time with individual with whom you are comfortable;
• Getting involved with activities you enjoy that will allow you to associate with positive people;
• Seek the guidance of a school counselor or therapist; or
• Calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233).

Studies have found that negative or abusive behaviors in unhealthy relationships are more likely to increase over time. Abuse escalates as the relationship progresses, and victims are more likely to sustain substantial injuries or harm. If you believe that you may be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship do not hesitate to ask for help. Teenage dating violence is more common than you know; you are not alone.